Schedule

Though schedules change from time to time, we like to keep a very organized list of activities we have the patients undergo from day to day. Sometimes, this means the schedule stays the same.

The way we do treatment is a process in which we like to call Casting Irregular Rotten Children Upon My Completely Idiotic Sister Eagerly. This process has also been known as C.I.R.C.U.M.C.I.S.E.
 * We gather all patients together at about 6:30am regardless of the patients problem, disease, or addiction, and let them get their anger out by beating the living shit out of prisoners we keep in the basement, all of which the Headmaster is related to, making this a complete family business. We all know that family businesses are 100% more successful than 99% of other businesses!
 * After that, we all go to the dining hall and everyone plays musical chairs! Whoever wins gets to eat breakfast! (Note: This does not mean other patients don't get fed, every patient is given a pill each morning.)
 * It is after breakfast when we finally split up our patients into even groups. (Note: If groups are odd, we split one lucky person in however many pieces are needed.) We then sit them in a circle in the Dark Room.


 * The Headmaster was kind enough to let the patients have at least one choice of what they want to do a day. (Note: Failure to participate in any of these events results in an immediate deduction.) They can either:
 * Meditate and release all negative energy into the air for a good couple of seconds before the symptoms of madness come back.
 * Or participate in The Circle, in which people talk about their problems. This has been proven to build friendships between patients, very helpful considering how many enemies are made during our morningly musical chairs exercise.


 * At around 2:00, we finally let them out of The Dark Room and into the bright sunlight! There are a whole range of activities from:
 * Exploring the overgrown hedge maze, which builds muscles and quick-thinking skills as you navigate through barbed wire and dodge bear traps.
 * The pool, which offers biological opportunities like studying the types of moss that grow around it and the alligator who just loves to be fed.
 * And finally, the morgue, which allows people to get creative with art, have a quick snack, and release sexual urges!


 * After letting the patients have their 'out-side time' for about 10 minutes, we let them in to speak to their therapists!


 * After about 6 hours of these specially made programs, everyone gets to do a group activity: cleaning!
 * Every patient uses their toothbrush to scrub the many rooms, corridors, and even each other! Dinner is served as they clean, which happens to be anything they can stick to their toothbrushes. (Note: Toothbrushes are given to patients as soon as they enter Excellent Adventures.)


 * When patients are done, they get to retire to their chambers to rest while the staff handles the rest of the cleaning.