Prices

Even though Excellent Adventures is a friendly, safe environment for you or a loved one, there is a fee. Our staff was made the best for the patients, after all.
 * Children (5 and under) - Burning of the Eyelids
 * Children (6-12) - 1 Full Jar of Children Tears
 * Teens (13-17) - Force Fed or Starvation (Choosable)
 * Adults (18-50) - Must Sacrifice 1 Goat and 1 Virgin
 * Elders (51 and up) - Pealing Off All the Skin of One Limb
 * Nerds - All of the Above & Whatever's In Your Pockets
 * Straight White Men - Donating Your Dick to Toys For Tots

After a person has paid and has been accepted into Excellent Adventures, you will be provided with the following items:
 * Toothbrush

Please see Rules before entering or paying for Excellent Adventures.